Chapter 7: Complete Archipelago Suspense
This chapter is like the last one, with a lot of seperate sections. The difference is these sections are far less active. So we start off with the hardest fight in the game. Seriously, at this point, I haven’t died to anything except those seagulls. They’re way faster than you, and Amber has no support. Then we meet Chris McLean, a real character that existed. Presumably @Zenthicks was influenced by the POWER OF LEAN when they designed this character. Then we get to what I was saying. The first two challenges are different flavors of button mash. It was fun to see Madison and Cat compete for being best catgirl, even if we all know who that really is. (here’s a hint it’s Annie) Day 2 has the bottle breaking, which is literally a cutscene, and then we move on to dungeon crawling. The rotund crawler is the final boss of Act 1, and I think that’s funny. My headcanon is that it was the missing one of Someone’s generals, but They hated it so much, They just told everyone it died. Taylor and John are both good, I’ll write about them at the bottom. Day 3 starts, and we get a really nice scene with Amber and John. It’s a reminder that Amber is nice and caring, she just usually hangs out with someone she loves to torment. Next is the eating contest, and I have to break out of the spoiler tags.
PINAPPLE ON PIZZA IS NOT BAD, AS LONG AS IT’S HAWAIIAN. I don’t know how to explain it, but the ham kind of soaks up the juices. Just pineapple on pizza does sound bad though, and pineapple tortilla pizzas sound like what they serve in Jigoku(Japanese Hell, I’m a Shintoist), but I’m tired of my second favorite pizza being disgraced.(My first favorite is plain, FYI.)
I also loved Amber’s message to Rachel, which boiled down to “Hate me because you hate me, not because you hate yourself.” Then we get one final eating contest, because this is the Eating Game. Amber wins, Rachel’s villainy has slightly decreased, and Memphis dies at sea. A great ending to Act 1! Except…
Sidequest Bonanza:The second part.
All of these were at least semi-solid. The weakest had to be Bruce’s, but it had a neat boss, a funny minigame, some character development, and a chance to smell Claire’s bed. Next up is Tess’s. Why doesn’t Amber want to eat turtles? Do they contain gluten? Overall, this was a fine sidequest. Then there’s John’s quest. I rank this one highly because I play the trombone, and it was nice to see some rep. The boss is a little annoying, since the tuba is both the healer and the strongest of the three, but it’s nice that Amber wants to make John happy. Finally is the obvious highlight. Even if the snussy was a lie, this was a great dungeon with a cool boss and a Cool Hat. Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really like Annie.
Now time for the new and improved character tierlist!
1: Annie. Fun axe attacks and one of the strongest moves in the game. I feel so happy that @Zenthicks clearly loves Annie as much as I do.
2: Claire. She’s still really solid. Hopefully she gets a girlfriend in her last sidequest.
3: Tess. Her skillset is a little montonous, but it’s also really funny.
4: Madison. Not much new to say.
5: John. TP restoral is not something everyone has. John doesn’t need a power, but he does deserve one.
6: Bruce. He’s just Bruce, what else can I say.
7: Taylor. Makes sense they wouldn’t let loose on the battlefield, but their watts are unique at least.
8: Jay. He just… doesn’t do anything.
9: Summer. Reminder that this isn’t a personality tier list. Summer’s really fun and cheeky, but her power is really nonexistent.
And the moment you’ve all been waiting for: What do the yellow scarves taste like?
Rachel: A one-layer cheesecake.
Red and Sky: Their respective flavors of Jolly Rancher.
Cat: Blondies.
Lucifer: The peppers that are only spicy to people with zero spice tolerance, like me.
Hephastus: Just gravel.
Marcus: Molasses.
Memphis: I have no idea. Really, is there any food he’s associated with? This is so difficult.
Darkblade: Calamari. That’s where the ink comes from.
