characters from my new project would like feedback on

So I’m making an interactive fiction game loosely inspired by a piece of cake (the game) you manage the life of the person you chose and change it how you see fit ,

*It is currently untitled

  • I would like other people to weigh in on the playable characters there are six and I’m kind of on the fence about keeping all of them.

  • opinion on whether or not to make the player the main character eg. first person pronouns.

Playable characters

Summer (22) (female)
Young blond and thin and single and miserable she convinced her life is cursed, and would probably be o the streets if her roommate’s weren’t so kind.

June (27) (female)
a chubby brunette with green eyes and married to a man named Greg ,who changed from charming to cruel as there marriage and her figure change .

Shawn (23) (male)
tall and pudgy with dirty blond hair and blue eyes he was told from childhood that he was going to run his dads shop until it went under and he has to find his own path in life.

Jason (25) (male)
With olive skin and chiselled mussels he works hard on his physique and being faithful to his girl friend ,it been especially hard sine she hurt her foot because she been so grumpy.

Morgan (20) (non binary)
fiery red hair and heterochromia (different eye colour) they lost three scholarship to collage due to injury ,and have to diced ,stay with the friends and support system they made or go home to there small (minded) town.

Alex (25) (non binary)
With brown eyes a rich complexion and hair that changes so often it would give a hairdresser a heart attack Alex is Loud proud and loving life and everything in it accept there job they want one as bold and fun as them

any feedback would be nice


Hey welcome to the community! Definitely no expert but I think that in terms of development’s sake, it might be worth it to have one of each gender (male, female, non-binary), or one character than can be customized to fit the role (ie. background story, gender, body type, etc.) to make it a bit easier on the back end. The best thing about making your own project is that you can make it as you like, so if you feel it would be better told through 1st person or 3rd person, go for it! This idea is super promising though and I wish you the best of luck on the project!!!


Welcome! Happy to have you here with us!

I unfortunately do not have much to say in terms of offering advice for your game idea proper, but I would suggest you make a post in #projects:ideas for it and change the title to Looking for feedback on my game idea or something like that.

Not many people look over the introduction section and most spend their time looking over the #projects section of the site. So moving it to #projects:ideas will give you more visibility. As for the title, your current one of need help with my game makes it sound like you are looking for people to assist with the game at best or looking for some one to make the game for you at worst (which happens a bit more then you may think). So changing the title to be more explicitly about asking for feedback opens it up to more people.


I haven’t played A Piece of Cake so I could be misunderstanding how these characters are meant to be played with. Right now they feel very vague to me. It would be helpful if we knew what we should be excited to see the characters doing (and how can we expect that to affect weight).


  • To add to your Summer description, “Summer decides to repay her roommate’s kindness by doing the cooking. But as someone who always burns their toast, how many failed creations must Summer eat before she learns to make a good meal?”

  • Or to add to your June description, “June, jealous of her husband staying slim while she gains weight, creates a plan to secretly fatten him up.”

Concerning the number of characters you have, I think it’s a good idea to start with a fewer amount. One very well-written character is better than six okay-written characters. And once you master writing and programming the game with one character, it should be easier to add more characters.

I don’t think it’s a big deal if it’s written in first person or not. Third person can be useful because we can see and hear the perspective of the main character and anyone else around them. But if you want to try to make the story more immersive, you can use first person.

I have some feedback I can give on each character.

Summer - I like the idea of a character thinking they are cursed considering the media. Since we are playing a game where we (as the player) have control over things and not her, it sets up fun ways to sort of break the fourth wall, or just remind the player they are making the decisions causing things to play out the way they are.

June - I see some potential here in the fact there are multiple characters you could cause to gain for different outcomes. I personally am not into weight gain unless it involves women gaining, but giving people 2 routes to take this story makes it so people who are into men gaining get some content out of this path and so do I.

Shawn - I see multiple routes you could take this story with, but I can’t tell what you are planning when it comes to weight gain content from the current description.

Jason - Similiar to what I said with June. Hopefully we have paths where we can make the gf gain and paths where we make him gain for the same reasons I said with June.

Morgan - athlete gaining from injury is a trope but it is a good one and probably my favorite so I am always okay with it being in games.

Alex - I am assuming they are going to gain weight from their job. I don’t know what you have planned but multiple options for different jobs which cause weight gain for different reasons could really flesh out this path.

If Shawn and Alex both gain weight because they get new jobs, these characters seem similiar enough that you could cut one for time needs. With June and Jason, if there are options for the male and female in the relationship to gain, then you could probably merge them and still have all the scenes you want in game.