I wonder if my life would be better if I wasn’t into this fetish, would I have had longer relationships with some of my girlfriends, would some of my friends stay friends with me? I mean, thank god I’m in my current relationship, but sometimes I ask myself if my life would’ve been better if I didn’t find an obese woman attractive. I know this really isn’t really related to a game and no, I don’t suffer from depression, but I’ve always had this thought. Would people like me more if I didn’t have this kink?
If people don’t like you because of a fetish/preference, they’re probably not really worth having as friends tbh.
Thanks mate, really needed that kind of reassurance.
There are so many ways you can define yourself and make connections with other people out there. It partly comes down to what you choose to put out there for others to see and connect with.
Fetishes and fetish communities are fun, but realistically you shouldn’t be letting them solely define you to the exclusion of your other merits and interests.
I guarantee that you are more interesting as a person than you give yourself credit for.
What if can only reveal so much before it all starts to get blurry
Yeah, it doesn’t really define me, but I guess people are upset at the idea of it. There is some kind of unspoken stigma against people in this community. I don’t know, it sometimes just feels like I did something wrong by telling people I care about and trust about this.
It’s perfectly normal that you feel this way, one of the human factors is about fitting in. We tend to dislike and avoid people and communities which are different from us, but overall try to fit in with society. Being overweight, and especially the fetish around it is largely disliked in western culture, where the true image of beauty is the exact opposite.
I won’t lie, I’ve had similar thoughts, and maybe I would be better off not liking fat chicks, but there is no changing that, a lot of things about our body and mind are set in stone when we’re born.
My advice would be to accept it. Not saying you should become obsessed about it, but accept it as part of you, because there is more to you than just your fetish, it probably won’t make you a successful investor or a popular celebrity, but it’s what makes you you.
Honestly, focusing on what could have been is unhealthy. I’ve spent years focusing on what could have been, but all that did for me was hold me back & make me depressed. Learn from the past, but don’t dwell on it. It’s sad to lose friends over something like this, but I’ve been trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. As a Christian I’ve been doing what I can to let God ease my worries. I don’t know if you’re religious or not, but maybe finding something to believe in could help ease your worries too.
Well yes and no is it unhealthy to get really overweight in a short period of time yes but it’s possible with planning exercises and other things to stay healthy at almost any size
Not really religious, but thanks for the kind words. I don’t know if everything happens for a reason though. Somethings just happen for absolutely no reason.
i think there’s a degree of reconciliation you make with yourself when it comes to stuff like relationships. you can find something really physically attractive and arousing, but the person you want to spend the rest of your life with (or however long, frankly) might not be just a culmination of everything you think is hot.
there’s no shame in having physical preferences, just don’t let that be the only thing that dictates your behavior and choice in partner/friends. you’re a multi-faceted, complex person that’s capable of more decision-making than just a binary “is she fat.”
I am sorry, not the best to give you an advise about this subject, because I am totally at the opposite of your feeling.
Loving fat girls (lesbian), and love fattening is the things I am the most proud of.
For nothing in the world, I would change these character traits. It’s me, and more than it’s me, it’s the best part of my personality! Woohoo!
People can be critic, as much they want, I can’t care less about their opinion.
If I have a good relationship with my friends and family, it’s because I was honest from the start.
Yes, it was hard at the beginning, they wanted to change me, they tested me, but finally with the time they accepted, because it’s me. And there is no reason to not love each other because we haven’t normies’ preferences.
I find it interesting how people are disclosing intimate details about themselves to their peers.
I accept that most, if not all, people have some weird quirks and desires tucked away but, even though it wouldn’t faze me, I still don’t have any wish to learn of my friends’ kinks. They can keep that to themselves and I the same!
Yeah, I guess, but the last time I actually talked about this to anyone was to my girlfriend. I usually keep this to myself, the reason I told my friends was because I was a teen and I wanted to know if they cared enough to be friends with me even with this new knowledge. And I told my girlfriends usually because they told me theirs. Kind of shows what kind of people they are like if they can’t be associated with you because of a preference.
I mean, good on you for all of this, I mean it’s hard enough to come out as a lesbian to some parents but to go the full mile and talk about fattening. I mean, it’s weird to say I’m proud of you, but damn, you got some guts. I guess I’m not that kind of guy, I’ve become more afraid of talking about because it is under, “taboo topics.” But yeah, thanks for a change in advice from everyone else, it helped quite a bit in bringing my confidence back.
I think almost everyone in this community has thoughts like this creep in at some point. It’s not uncommon for ANY kink/fetish to periodically make people feel alienated or outcast. So you’re definitely not alone!
As for telling other people–I think it CAN be a really freeing experience. Telling my close friends was great because we all joke about it now, and the stress of my “secret” is long gone. As others mentioned, a true friend won’t drop you over this. But there’s definitely a spectrum for just how much you tell people hahaha. Not everyone wants to know about this stuff! Some of my friends just know I’m into bigger girls and it’s left at that. My really close friends know the about the nuances, this site, my games, etc. You just have to kind of gauge what people are comfortable with as you get to know them.
I promise it’s possible to find your healthy balance with the fetish. Despite a big portion of this kink being about overindulgence, moderation remains incredibly important in all things. It’s okay (and very fun!) to fantasize, but it’s healthy to have and know where the limits are so everyone gets to have a good time. For your sake, and even more importantly, for your partner’s sake. Communication can help you navigate your way to a happy and healthy place.
Anyway, it sounds like you’re in a positive relationship now and I wish you all the best!
A fetish u dont really choose it tbh
If u get turned on by it u can’t do much however
If your friends drop u for a fetish then those are not the people u wanna be around friends should support each others decisions they might not like em but they should accept thats how u are instead of trying to change u as they see fit
Guess I’ll pop up 11 days late. Heh.
Much like everyone else here, if your friends hate you for that, are they your friends really? But a different question, while still somewhat related to this topic, is what would I do, if I had different fetish?
Technically, nothing would change sexually, for instance, if I was instead attracted to, let’s say, muscles, then I’d still be just as attracted to muscle as I am to fat now.
But, what would change, is obviously my life. One thing that is great about having a different then normal fetish, is that it helps you accept fetishes other than your own. I am fine with people who like feet, or breasts, or even trees (dendrophilia) as I realize that, well, we aren’t any different. We all get attracted to different things, but in the end, we all share one common fact: we all get aroused by something. If it wasn’t for this fetish, I mean, I may not be have been able to realize that other people like other things, and that’s ok!
Heh, got a bit off topic there. Anywho, that’s about the gist of it, and with that said, have a swell day! ;D