Brought to you by the ever bountiful good that is rampant consumerism, Mallsoft: Suit Yourself*.
*Mallsoft or their associates take no responsibility in the event that a customer may be disappointed/outraged/confused/sickened by the contents of this automated message.
The Mallsoft chain of establishments is characterized by one basic, unique factor. Something that, despite its simplicity, has resulted in more than fifty thousand shopping malls throughout Terra and Mars.
Any piece of attire you wish to wear, we’ll make sure you’re able to fit in*.
*Mallsoft holds no responsibility in the event that their customers become immobile due to their choice of attire. It’s the customer’s duty to check that the clothing they take belongs to a size they are comfortable growing into.
But, I hear you ask, how do you do it? What kind of revolutionary tech is at the backbone of your company?
Let me introduce you to the product of years of hard work, the AI that manages all of our stores: Husky.
Or at the very least I’d introduce you if the board wasn’t worried about corporate espionage.
Either way, Husky’s main task within Mallsoft’s establishments is matching a customer’s size to that of the attire they have requested. For that purpose, Husky is equipped with five (5) Husky Compounds. Each of these will cause the customer to grow in different areas, these being: Arms, Breasts, Belly, Ass+Thighs & Core.
All of these are fairly self-explanatory, save for Core. What that one does is it makes the whole body grow. It includes the areas that are not covered by other compounds and the areas that are. Since Husky can add, but it cannot remove*, it must excercise extreme caution when applying the Core compound, since it will affect the size of the customer’s entire body irreversibly.
*Husky cannot perform lipo-suctions and should not be utilized for such purposes under any circumstance. Mallsoft takes no responsibility for an employee’s inaction in the event that a customer attempts to utilize Husky for such purposes. By utilizing Husky for such purposes, you waive your legal right as a customer to sue this establishment and/or company.
The end goal of this system is to make sure that the customer fits as snugly into their outfit as possible*. We make a point to satisfy as many customers as we can before the store closes, regardless of how pressured they find themselves or how late they arrive to our establishments.
*In the event that the customer grows large enough to cause tears in their chosen attire, Mallsoft is compromised to pay 100% of 80% of the total cost of the damaged items, as well as any damages done to the Husky depot, present in every clothing store within a Mallsoft establishment.
And with that, this brief presentation is over. If you have any questions about Mallsoft or our operations, direct them to the QnA system, which should be present under this automated message.
Mallcorp hopes our customers will be able to keep in mind this proposition for their upcoming business ventures, and wishes them the best*.
*The customer is required to credit Mallcorp for all patents and systems they may have adopted for their own enterprises.
TransLateD_corpoRatespeak:
Ha Ha Capitalism
A customer can be pumped with Compound to make their body grow.
There are 4 specific types of Compound (Arms, Breasts, Belly, Ass+Thighs) and one general Compound (Core).
Compound must be pumped into those body parts until the customer’s sizes match those of the attire they have picked.
Core Compound will make the customer’s entire body grow, this includes the bodyparts that are affected by the other Compounds as well as the parts that are not.
All weight added to a customer cannot be removed.
Going over the requested size on any bodypart will result in the customer’s attire ripping, causing unsatisfaction.
As the store approaches its closing hours, customers will be rushed by the staff, meaning the time needed to fulfill their requests will be limited.
It’s possible that a customer will pick clothes that are big enough to make them immobile, blocking the entrance for a few hours until the staff removes them.
Customers gain satisfaction as you match their bodyparts to their requested attire.
Customers with 50% or above satisfaction result in a money gain, 49% or below results in a money loss.
The objective is to make as much money as possible within a single day.
I hope this has been of some use to y’all.
If it has, and you do make something out of this, do me a small courtesy and throw a link my way.
Many thanks.