It was in response to this comment
How dynamic would you like the story to change with each action?
Grotlover2 Score
| Category | Total |
| —: | :–|
| Basics: | 10000 |
| Art: | 210 |
| Writing: | 260 |
| Concept/Design | 50 |
| Msc: | 100 |
| Total: | 10655 |
Comments:
A fairly standard 3 ending VN. The story was good though I think the beginning bit that was trying to be meta could have been cut as it really did not add anything to the story. The characters also looked nice though the use of music kind of felt all over the place. All in all not a bad though fairly standard VN.
Jux Score
| Category | Total |
| —: | :–|
| Basics: | 10000 |
| Art: | 135 |
| Writing: | 95 |
| Concept/Design | 145 |
| Msc: | 10 |
| Total: | 10450 |
Comments:
As a writer, I’m going to try and give the best feedback I can, even if it’s brutal. If I were to edit this story, I would cut probably 3/4ths of the text. My biggest feedback is regards to setup and payoff and respect for the readers time. By the time I got to the first choice in the project I was already bored out of my mind. The game is about a squirrel getting fat, but by the time I met haya, all the 90�s references had pulled me so far out of the story that I didn�t care about her at all. I lived through the 90s. I know what an IRC client is, and what y2k was, and what a torrent is. And even if I didn�t know those things they have absolutely no bearing on the story, or gameplay. I�d cut about 90% of the content before the start of the actual game. I think the 90�s framing device is good, but you can set it up much quicker and in a more satisfying way. I know you can do it because your dialogue is good. It just needs to be framed better. Beyond that, it�s the combination of the limited outcomes from choices, diluted by the sheer amount of text that makes me put a 0 in the �game uses theme� category. I think the project has promise. I can see interesting stuff in there. But it’s a diamond in the rough, fresh out of the ground. Keep at it.
Kilif Score
| Category | Total |
| —: | :–|
| Basics: | 10000 |
| Art: | 120 |
| Writing: | 255 |
| Concept/Design | 340 |
| Msc: | 15 |
| Total: | 10810 |
Comments:
I have to say, this is one of the few visual novels submitted to these game jams I’ve seen that actually seems to attempt to have a wide number of paths, rather than one or two choices. I also appreciate that you did technically incorporate the theme insofar as the weight does have an effect on events, though I would argue that more could have been done on this front.
That being said, I did find the writing somewhat tedious at times. There were a lot of world building elements that didn’t really add to the overall story or scene before the player has a reason to actually be invested in the world. Also, the entire prologue section with you booting up the game seemed pointless and didn’t really add anything to the story for me. I would opt to go right into the game rather than frame it as a fake game inside of another game. I also ran into a few crashes and the branching logic seemed to have a hard time figuring out what weight I actually was at times.
S&S Score
| Category | Total |
| —: | :–|
| Basics: | 10000 |
| Art: | 180 |
| Writing: | 285 |
| Concept/Design | 640 |
| Msc: | 70 |
| Total: | 21255 |
Comments:
Squirrel Score
| Category | Total |
| —: | :–|
| Basics: | 10000 |
| Art: | 250 |
| Writing: | 300 |
| Concept/Design | 820 |
| Msc: | 130 |
| Total: | 11570 |
Comments:
This was a fun adventure with some great writing and an interesting range of locales and situations. The characters felt natural, every location change felt necessary and was accompanied well by the music and the different endings and the varying dialogue depending on your decisions were great! All in all a good visual novel! I volunteer as tribute to play Haya in the live action movie.