Well, hey guys. Happy 500th discussion, well I’ll get straight to the point. I’m still having a rough time accepting this as a fetish/kink. I don’t know why, I accept that I can’t control it, but I feel disgusted with myself for enjoying it. I feel like I’ve done something wrong.
5 Likes
I think anyone that isn’t a complete animal would realize this is a bit of a messed up fetish. Wanting to make someone fat is definitely up there with the weirder kinks. It doesn’t help that besides most people you’ll have relations with not wanting to be fat by default, there’s some decent health reasons to not want to be fat too. It’s definitely going to attract the ire or disgust of a decent amount of people if they ever knew.
That said there’s nothing wrong with enjoying what you enjoy, you can’t change that, ever. Don’t hate on yourself for your tastes. Liking fat people, weight gain, and eating isn’t really a crime, it’s pretty harmless compared to a lot of stuff out there.
Nobody’s forcing you to tell everyone you have this weird fetish though, so you can always just keep it to yourself and keep it a fantasy. Maybe down the road if you meet someone you really connect with, fetish aside, you open up about it, but until then I think its best to keep it to yourself, and stop beating yourself up about it.
9 Likes
Believe internalizing shame about your kinks and fantasies is going to end up being really harmful to you, and for no good reason.
The fact that you’re critical of the health and moral implications of obesity shows that you’re likely responsible and mindful about your interests. Lots of people have fantasies that we would not condone if carried out in real life, and that’s fine.
16 Likes
So long as it’s between consenting adults who enjoy it then you have nothing to feel disgusted about. Sexual fulfilment is one of the strongest driving forces we will ever have, and denying what you want will only lead to an unfulfilled life. That’s not to say you have to live the feedee/feeder lifestyle, you can keep it to the realm of fantasy/roleplay, or even indulge the feeding side of it in moderation, without anyone involved gaining weight.
The world is getting fatter, it’s becoming aspirational to be bigger in certain ways (look at the size of asses in the media compared to 20 years ago), and the body positivity movement actually has some traction now. I know feedism takes it a step (or 3) further, but it’s a long way from the weirdest fetish out there, and people are a lot more accepting of it than you would think.
Pretty much everyone who knows me knows I like fatties, and a lot of them know/have guessed there’s a feedism element to it, and you know what? No one really gives a shit. I’ve not lost any friends, or had any bad experiences when people find out, the reaction is usually curious more than anything. Or maybe my social circle is vastly more accepting than the norm (but I find that hard to believe).
You deserve to live your life without shame and disgust for who or what you are.
6 Likes
Obviously mind affects behavior, but you are not judged for your thoughts, only your actions. Like what you say and do. And - in real life - sex is a private practice that everyone does differently. Movies and media just homogenize it and glamorize their product.
Compare yourself to people with other fetishes / kinks, or to people who have an “average” sexuality, if that person exists. They have uncouth thoughts all the same.
Examples: famous people like Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Obama, and I don’t know Taylor Swift all have had uncouth thoughts, too. They even act/acted on them. It’s not like everybody needs to Gandhi it, or needs to participate in that Hollywood projection. The fact that we think all other people do is a testament to the globalizing effect of the Internet.
Really, when people dream at night, they go to that cringy, self-absorbed place where they are a superhero and everyone loves them and they get exactly what they want. That’s what I think: enjoy what you enjoy. You are clearly smart and self-aware and able to make informed decisions without needing a restrictive and precise moral code.
6 Likes
Eventually you’ll have to come to terms with it, or suppress it heavily, y’cannae just shy away from it, I tried for a second myself, it ain’t a fun feeling certainly, but the easiest thing to do is find a way to make it acceptable to yourself
2 Likes
Your advise is a straight way to go insane.
When we suppress our nature it will back stronger at the most undesirable time.
Personally I keep it as a fantasy and roleplaying with it. I enjoy as much, and their are not alt and unwelcome effects.
1 Like
I’ve found that I am in a similar boat and also have a strong sense of shame when it comes to partaking in this community, though I have reduced it by only partaking in bursts. On top of that, I have found that using your fetishes to work on self improvement can be a handy trick. Heck, most of my coding skills have come from working on projects for this forum.
Moderation, like many things, is key. As long as you don’t completely succumb to your urges or cause harm to someone else, what you do in private isn’t anyone’s business but your own. Just make sure you don’t burn out your dopamine receptors. I’ve done that plenty of times and it really sucks.
Though, that last part is more life advice in general rather than just fetish advice.
5 Likes
This is an old post but i sure feel related.
I feel like if you don’t hurt anyone, (Including yourself) then it is ok.
1 Like