Experiences with this kink

Iv been lurking around in the community for a while and haven’t really made an account because I didn’t see a reason to. It’s pretty cool that communities like this even exist, i’m a big fan of coding and home made software/games, but iv never really tried to make a game because I cant do art/write well. Seeing a anonymous board made for a good opportunity to ask people, what do you think about this whole fat kink? I’m a young guy in high school and I wouldn’t dare tell anyone, it would ruin me. My girlfriend kinda knows, but not too much, she’s skinny, and I never want her to change for me or anyone else. What do you guys think about it? I’v never met anyone in real life (as far as I know, because they’d probably be hiding in plain sight like me) whose like this besides myself. Are you guys happy with it? Just accepting? Angered? Sometimes I feel like being gay is more socially acceptable then being a FA. If you’re just here to fap, I get it, move on, but if you have the time i’m curious to talk to some other people about this since we seem so few in numbers.

Thanks for the time,
Lurker

I’ve been where you are before. I think i can share a few things.

I didn’t tell another person about my fetish until i was like 25. When i did it was a terrifying experience, for I’m sure a lot of the reason you haven’t told anyone. Thinking back i wish i had been more open during highschool. I know i would have gotten shit for it, but i already got shit for a bunch of other stuff so what was the gain there? (no pun intended lol) . I wish at the very least i would have pursued the women i found amazingly attractive. I think i would have been more happy/satisfied.

stepping away from that for a moment: I don’t think you or i, or anyone else should suppress their sexuality. I think it’s harmful honestly. I can’t help but think of all the hate and troubles that come from gay people denying their sexuality because of their religious upbringing. I don’t want anyone to be tortured like that (especially myself). So i happily enjoy my belly fetish.

So putting this all together, I’d suggest telling your GF. For the sake of being honest. If you want to enjoy your tastes with other people in the future you need to start somewhere. Honestly me telling that first person felt like such a release.

In high school, you’re all packed together and flooded with hormones telling you to be shitty to each other. Anything outside the social norm is going to attract bullying.

I remember being there. It sucked. I definitely had nightmares where someone uncovered my browser history and was an asshole about it (and being a more general feedist, where I gained weight and endured a bunch of torment for it). But High School ends, and the adult world is a lot more forgiving.

Once you leave, my advice is to take a deep breath and a couple years to gather your courage and start being open about it. You will encounter occasional push back from people with a hypernormative streak, but in my experience most people either don’t care, or will tease you but think little else of it, or are even sympathetic (there are more FAs out there than you’d imagine, but also, in my experience even non-FAs are not all squicked out by fat and/or like curves enough to empathize with fetishizing softness). Especially if you surround yourself with kind, mature people, which you’ll have more control over once you’ve got that diploma in your fist.

For now, though, being in the absolute closet is bad for you health. If you can find a confidant-- maybe your girlfriend, if she’s cool and not… you know, like a normal highschool girlfriend-- that might help ease some of the anger and frustration.

I have to say, a big fan of the kink (obviously), though I certainly lurked for many years before making my first account (Vilified) that was publicly all for it. Its how my I met my boyfriend of almost 4 years now. He played the crappy little game I had made, we started talking, realized we had a lot more in common, some other things happened, and only a few months later, we were together. I will say that while basing a relationship on a fetish is not a good idea, being able to share it with your SO is awesome.

I think you’ll find that there’s a lot more of us than you’d expect, especially when you know what you’re looking for. Besides, chubby-chasers are almost in league with foot fetishists when it comes to mainstream fetishes. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. That being said, making it obvious while in high school might be asking for trouble. Its no good to hide a part of yourself away, but I certainly wouldn’t flaunt it. If someone asked about it, I’d own up to it (most of my close friends know about it, they don’t care unsurprisingly), but I wouldn’t volunteer the information unprovoked. And you will definitely run into people that do care. My ex cared, made me feel terrible about it (I shouldn’t have), and was overall generally a terrible person. Just be prepared for that, I guess.

But yes, kink is great, being able to enjoy said kink with SO is great, and most people won’t really care, but be prepared for those that do. That’s my two cents anyways.

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I didn’t even realise I had this fetish until I was in college, and at that point, most of the people I know didn’t care, since they’d had plenty of time to adapt to many of my stranger fetishes (pregnancy, futa, femdom, etc.), so it wasn’t much of a big deal at that point.

That said, coming out in regards to those other fetishes was a lot more nerve-wracking, though I went to a very liberally-minded and tolerant high school, so even that ended up being fine.

[quote=“Tendra, post:5, topic:1218”]I didn’t even realise I had this fetish until I was in college, and at that point, most of the people I know didn’t care, since they’d had plenty of time to adapt to many of my stranger fetishes (pregnancy, futa, femdom, etc.), so it wasn’t mcuh a=of a big deal at that point.

That said, coming out in regards to those other fetishes was a lot more nerve-wracking, though I went to a very liberally-minded and tolerant high school, so even that ended up being fine.[/quote]

I’m curious how that happened? Would you care to elaborate? Weight gain doesn’t seem like an easy fetish to just discover

[quote=“Dohavocom, post:6, topic:1218”][quote=“Tendra, post:5, topic:1218”]I didn’t even realise I had this fetish until I was in college, and at that point, most of the people I know didn’t care, since they’d had plenty of time to adapt to many of my stranger fetishes (pregnancy, futa, femdom, etc.), so it wasn’t mcuh a=of a big deal at that point.

That said, coming out in regards to those other fetishes was a lot more nerve-wracking, though I went to a very liberally-minded and tolerant high school, so even that ended up being fine.[/quote]

I’m curious how that happened? Would you care to elaborate? Weight gain doesn’t seem like an easy fetish to just discover[/quote]

Yeah that’s a bit odd, I knew I liked bigger women even before I had sexual attraction, when I was a little kid. I had no idea why at the time and now I do.

Also, thanks for all the responses its pretty cool to hear from other real human beings about this. It’s seriously awesome that communities like this exist and that the people in them are willing to talk and be so helpful and encouraging. I have no plans about sharing this with the people in my life irl, but I think its really cool to hear all of your stories.

Thanks again,
Lurker

[quote=“Dohavocom, post:6, topic:1218”][quote=“Tendra, post:5, topic:1218”]I didn’t even realise I had this fetish until I was in college, and at that point, most of the people I know didn’t care, since they’d had plenty of time to adapt to many of my stranger fetishes (pregnancy, futa, femdom, etc.), so it wasn’t mcuh a=of a big deal at that point.

That said, coming out in regards to those other fetishes was a lot more nerve-wracking, though I went to a very liberally-minded and tolerant high school, so even that ended up being fine.[/quote]

I’m curious how that happened? Would you care to elaborate? Weight gain doesn’t seem like an easy fetish to just discover[/quote]

Well, pregnancy was and is my biggest fetish, so I suppose it mostly overshadowed the WG fetish for a while, what with them both being belly-centric. I gradually got into stuffing, but it was more of an auxiliary thing for a while.

I only really got into WG when I was in a semi-delirious haze from having bronchitis, and wondered if there were any WG themed games along the lines of things like Corruption of Champions or Trials in Tainted Space, which lead to my discovering this forum

I have a hard time thinking of preferring plumper individuals as a fetish. Obviously there are extremes and related obsessions that are fetishes, but at the root is a perfectly understandable evolutionary preference for partner who is fecund, rather than someone who meets a societal standard of beauty. I’m sure many people just find and fall in love with someone who they desire without much self-analysis as to what specifically they are looking for. I’d be tempted to suggest the obsession with big-busted size 0 narrow-waisted females is actually the “unhealthy” fetish.

High-school is a decades-distant memory for me, so I don’t have the pressure of that environment. It will get easier for you though Lurker once you are able to make your own way in the world.

I honestly am not sure how long I would ever stick around with this fetish, I’ve always wondered if it would be temporary or not, whether in 10 years I’ll still be into it as a married woman. In a relationship, it’s kinda odd to have to explain to your SO that you’re into something like this, explaining that fat and feeding are your major kinks and help you get off. While mine was pretty understanding, I’m still willing to be supportive of her trying whatever she can to stay healthy, even with the slight disappointment I may have. I just tell myself to stick to the fantasy and never drag it into real life, because expectations do not always mix with the reality of things. I would never wish harm upon my girlfriend, so I will do what’s in her best interests. :triumph:

I understand where you are coming from. My GF and I are the same way. She knows though that I love her for more than just this kink, and that she does not have to gain weight if she does not want to. We both also would want to prioritize her health.

That being said we both love this fetish anyway though and it is nice being able to share it with her. Even if we dont do anything with it much IRL with it I dont think either of us would ever drop it.

So, I’m still currently in highschool—but in my experience really no one cares about my sexual interests all too much. I was terrified of my family finding out, and hesitant to tell my chubby darling about my, ehm, obsession.

All of that was just paranoia and overdramatization. In fact, the first person I told laughed and made fun of me. But not because I have a tummy fetish, but for being so… tame. They thought I was into something more objectively horrifying like blood play or torture with how scared I was to even speak of it. Pretty humbling…

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so this B*** in highschool found out my kink through some voodoo magic or something bc I don’t know how she found out. Either way a year ago I was dating a girl long distance and it turned out that the girl who found my kink out was best friends with this girl. After the long distance girl broke up with me the one who lived near me made it her life goal to ruin my life. My kink is something I’ve kept hidden away for years. Anyway she literally tells everyone she sees about it. I guess I’ll have to stick to my close friends because they don’t even care about it. They usually only mention it when they get pissed at me and I always say back “You’ll have something worse later… I promise”

First, a bit of background on my fetishes. My first attraction was to pregnancy (bear with me). I never realized how early my love for pregnancy was until I looked back on it recently. I remember early in elementary school re-reading a book called Stellaluna (I know I probably misspelt that–it’s been a while). It was about a pregnant bat. It was a guilty pleasure of sorts. Other books and media that featured pregnancy grabbed my attention, too. I love multiple aspects of it: the shape, the quick gains, the reality (and by that, I mean my hopeless romantic fantasy). I quickly gravitated to multiple gestations.

It was something I never wanted to share, but there was interesting about it that still baffles me. I was not ashamed of having the fetish, just of anybody finding out. This is probably common for those with fetishes or kinks. I never criticized myself, like “why are you like this?”. I knew it was taboo, so I kept it private for social reasons. It led to some fleeting fearful moments, but nothing distressing in the long term.

My affinity for fat boys grew later, in middle school, I think. I would try to furtively stare at the most obese boy in school or at after-school camp. I remember my efforts to take my time in the locker room, trying to time my walk out so I could catch of glimpse of the kid changing his PE shirt. I would stay close beside him as I jogged past on the track, holding my breath so I could hear his puffs. The days the YMCA went to the pool were my favorite, as I would soak in the view of the shirtless fat boy, a few years younger than me.

Then came the dreaded moment: discovery. I was in either late elementary or middle school. I did not have a personal computer at the time, so I had to go downstairs in the middle of the night to secretly browse. Unfortunately, I was unaware of the incognito mode for browsers. One night, I must have failed to delete my history, and it was readily visible on auto-complete. I’m not sure the extent to which my family members know about my fetishes. But my mother casually brought my passion for pregnancy up one day when we were riding alone in the car. She made a light laugh to diffuse the awkward tension, but the way she mentioned it nonchalantly out of the blue was the most effective tool. It made it feel okay. I admitted it and shrugged it off. She asked how it started, and I honestly couldn’t tell her–I didn’t know. She never pushed for details, and it was cathartic. I was still a bit ashamed, but I survived.

Since then, we’ve never talked about it. I never told her about how I roleplay pregnancies some nights. She may have caught a glimpse of my props, but never me in the act. My sister has seen my prop setup as well, but a few explanations (read: lies) and the sheer oddity of the arrangement without context has satisfied her curiosity for now. My mother never confronts me on it. As for obese boys, I have no idea how much my family knows, but “out of sight, out of mind” goes both ways there.

My approach of keeping it private, but owning it if there is no other choice, has worked for me. I find that if you cover your tracks even decently well and don’t let it interfere too much with your social life, people aren’t typically going to hunt down your fetish, especially if they love you. If you are ridiculed for it, remind yourself that it does not solely define who you are. As for my personal self-assessment of my fetishes, I like to think that it’s what makes me unique. I have acquired tastes just like everyone else. If I like to savor such tastes by myself in a locked room, that’s my decision to make.

Sigh There. I feel better now.

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I’m glad you’re readily available to admit to fetishes like that. In my throes with finding a romantic partner, it’s extremely difficult for me to tell someone outside of the internet that I like this certain thing in a sexually arousing manner. Kudos to you for being the better person and being unafraid to own up to your mistakes. I’m simply glad my family doesn’t pry into my private life, God knows what they’d find.

At any rate, thanks for sharing. I hope this encourages more people to be a bit more comfortable sharing their own fetish experiences, heh.

Notices timestamp

Wew, a bit late on the reply. Oops.

Honestly, it’s been one of the things I really dislike about myself for a long time

It feels like it’s such an overriding factor in my life and I don’t want it to effect me, yet it seems like a constant thing always on my mind. I have confided in my closest friends and they don’t judge me for it at all, which I am grateful for. I am only 18 and I told them when I was about 17, though some people I told I do regret telling, since they did seem to act differently towards me.

I wish I could’ve just been normal and just liked guys and that’s it, but I suppose it could be what shaped who I am today (haha slight pun there), and I am proud of who I am, just not about what lurks deeper down.

I don’t know if I should be ashamed or not for it, but I definitely feel like an outcast. Also some people in the community of this kink really scared me and steered me away (Older men talking about getting me immobilized… etc…) So I feel like it’s hard to find people who truly understand. I do appreciate this website though, as it is nice to see people who are in the same boat as me.

Sorry for the long talk but I hope this answered your question

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You’ve done what in hindsight I wish I would have done in highschool. Telling people about my tastes lifted such a huge weight off my shoulders. It made me feel more at ease not having to hide a part of me all the time. Trust me that the whole outcast thing is much less of an issue later in life. Most people are way to worried about their own problems to worry about your sexual preferences. I mean there are always assholes, but assholes are assholes and you should choose how to live your life just because of a fear of what they might say.

Personally I don’t think shame is something you should feel about what you’re attracted to in most cases. Shame wont change what you feel and will only fester and turn into something bad. My mind always goes to fervent anti-gay preachers who turn out to be gay themselves. Their self denial (along with peer pressure) led them down a path to hate who they are and hate against other people like them. I think it’s healthier to accept who you are and what you like.

Also if someone is talking to you in a way that you don’t like, that’s not okay. Either block them or reach out to moderation and we can get involved. Obviously immobility is a fetish that gets explored here, but i think consent is super important, as is the separation of fantasy and reality.

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Thank you, you really are right about that all to be honest!

Luckily it isn’t this website that scared me, I think it’s been a very nice experience so far- but the app ‘Grommr’ I experimented with, which I didn’t really meet anyone I felt I could speak to just friendly.

I think I’ve just gotta accept that this is part of me and my true friends will accept me for that too :slight_smile:

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I wouldn’t consider a friend who looks down on your for what you like a goo friend TBH. Also in terms of friendly conversation, our discord is definitely a friendly place.

in my opion, being into fat and especially being a furry makes it really uncomfortable to talk to people irl about. I think it’s because talking about interests seems fine, but I hesitate to talk about my kinks with people I know irl. ya know? especially with the furry thing, though there are some people I know that I think wouldn’t look at me too weirdly about it, like a coworker whose had a furry experience; I’ll spare the details.

still though, it just feels like tmi, even if the conversation has gotten weird or gross, which has happened a fair amount of times with many of my closer friends. hell, I almost spilled the furry thing on facebook after high school, but I mentioned it on FA first and someone said I might not want to. and thinking about that, it made sense to me that just dumping that fact out there might be very weird to some people I know and might alienate me from some people. that, and I’d never hear the end of the jokes from some family or friends. an uncle of mine would either be very confused, or mercilessly taunt me about it.

I dunno, I guess if it feels like a weight on your shoulders, it makes sense to tell someone and relieve yourself, but at least in my case, it feels like dropping that weight would just make my load even heavier.

and yeah, it does dig at me every now and again, especially the furry thing. I talk to a therapist every once in a while for other reasons, and I’m seriously working out how to even explain that part to her…

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