Hi there !
Here is a little story I wrote, inspired by “Passion Patties”: One day, as you were going to do some shopping, your wife brought some unique muffins from a mysterious woman, and seems to like them very much…
You can find it here : Passion Muffins by Gloupsi56
The story is available in French and English.
Since my last story, I worked on my English, so the story-telling should be better and there shouldn’t be mistakes. However, if you find one, tell me !
And of course don’t forget to enjoy !
Does this make you…the Muffin Man?
The one that lives on Drury Lane?
She’s married to the muffin man
The Muffin Man?
Need more characters to post.
I hate to be negative, but this really isn’t great. The writing is fine, but this isn’t really a game (if you consider twine to be a game and not just fancy choose your own adventure). There’s no reason that this had to be done in twine, considering the linearity, you could have just uploaded the text to DeviantArt and called it a day.
Again, I enjoyed the story and it was well written, it’s just the method of delivery doesn’t make sense to me.
Yes, I know that. To be honest, I wrote 2 or 3 stories like this months ago, only to see what it feels like to write stories. However, seeing twine stories (on DeviantArt or even here) gave me the idea of publishing stories. In order to begin this journey, I thought that rewriting and translating my stories was a good idea, to have feedbacks, thus helping me to progress.
For example, on my very first topic, I have been told my English could be reworked, so for this one, I work on my grammar and vocabulary in general, making this story more interesting than the previous one.
I have another story like this that I’m currently rewriting/translating, and I try to make it a bit less linear. Globally, it will have more paths, leading to very different ends.
It would still be considered as linear for some people, but in my opinion, a game is more than a bunch of pictures you can interact with, it’s first and foremost an experience that you live, and I think a basic linear-story, with a good story-telling, can do far more than “classical” games.
Again, I sincerly thank you for your comment, and I’ll try to correct this in the future !