It’s always a bold and brave effort to be the first one up over the trenches, so props to you in that regard at least!
Something that a VN lives and dies by is the quality of writing and I think the writing here would benefit greatly from one or two editing passes as there are a fair few typos spotted throughout (amusingly “Luigi’s Pizza” gets referred to as “Mario’s” at one point).
Another niggle that caught me was the lack of headers on the text boxes to denote character dialogue, instead putting the character’s name in the main text field itself. Headers would improve the readability of the text for sure.
The theme is… technically filled in that it’s very much a hands-off affair, since neither Charlene nor the player have much agency in the story. In both stories, Frank and Jane are discovered to have had a radically “large” transformation, order themselves a large dinner and… well that’s about it. Charlene appears to be influenced by the encounter a little but by that point we’ve reached the end. Perhaps an epilogue in which we see Charlene a few weeks on, warmly engaging with her friend whilst a fair few pounds heavier. Maybe even letting her hair down a little as she picks up a little of that counterculture lifestyle?
Overall it’s an early effort and it shows, but on the bright side there is still plenty of time to address some of the writing issues as well as for strengthening the theme.