I know that like a bunch of people have already said these things, but 1) The game is hecking amazing! the details and whatnot are perfect!!! 2) the story, I really like it, ghosts and whatnot are my thing! 3) and finnally!! Mamma Vi da best!!! she so chonky and cute I wish I could just snuggle the thing!!!
sorry if that all sounds weird, either way, keep up all of the amazing work!!
yay thank you!
I’m actually thinking of expanding some of her content in the next build of this.
WAIT REALLY!? yessss! hell, mama vi alone made me wanna make my own little chonky ghost, tho I doubt she gonna be as well around loved as Mamma Vi cause I suck at descriptions
still, your work is amazin~
yeah I mean not, a ton? But Beau got so much content and I feel like everyone else needs more scenes to balance things.
I wish it had an ending where you fall in love with beau and both will live in momma vi’s mansion,
because of that, both you and beau end up being spoiled too much 
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dude that’s actually a really good idea I’mma write that down XD
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What about femboys? I consider myself a hetero male, but I can’t deny that there’s something enticing about a cute, effeminate boy. Consider Salem from Cakehoarder’s game, June’s Appetite. I could get behind WG content around that kind of character.
Frankly, it’s not necessarily true that males turn me off, but that masculine males turn me off. I stopped watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure because I didn’t enjoy looking at all of the muscular, manly men, especially when the Pillar Men showed up.
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YOU ARE WEAK (jk wait for 6 part)
I’ve been through it a few times, and I’ve managed to find the SCP reference(s), get the key, and meet the Wraith (which almost seems like 106), meet Beau, Eliza, Joe, Waylon, Violette, and Brendan, find the developer message, drink both bottles, learn the backstory of the college student, and it was all very nice. I’m not a fan of non-con fiction, but I thought for what it was, it was well made. Of course, there was a lot of kinky stuff that I enjoyed for what should be obvious reasons, but I was quite intrigued by the story and universe that you set up as well.
I don’t normally like to do this, but it seems that you’re open to concrit. If you’re actually not, then I apologize in advance for posting this.
Whoo boy, this is a long one.
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I think that the most problematic issue I had is that I nearly quit before I met Eliza, which expanded the story a ton to the point where I was invested. I met interesting characters, I learned the nuances of how paranomativity functions in your world, etc. But I only got there by being bored enough to try to ‘complete’ the game by finding all the endings. A majority of it seems to go unread by the audience if all the fat stuff appears to be right in the beginning of it. Maybe either expand the other scenes to the same level of depth and complexity as the exploration of the mansion (probably impossible), or have the other scenes somehow shift into the exploration scenes, along with the side effect of being fat or impregenated or something. For the explicit ‘bad’ ends, though, they could probably just end early because they’ll encourage the reader to press on and explore something to a good ending.
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There should probably be a save-system or a table of contents to keep track of where one is in the story, because once I got to Eliza, even though it was very enjoyable to go through the different stories, I also wanted to go back to get to different endings. It would also be good to be able to go back to certain parts for reference for certain information, as I lost track of who the feasting ghost was and did, where Eliza was, the slime ooze thing, etc.
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You might want to tag for the arachnophobia in the main post, because even though I wasn’t extremely creeped out, others might be. Other common phobias might need to be included as well.
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I also think that one of the endings break continuity, as the ending that makes Beau fat and the player a ghost states that no one knows about them, except that the introduction also explicitly states that the player is a popular vlogger who’s documented where is he at the moment, before even meeting Beau. Is there something I missed?
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Speaking of which, I’m not quite sure what happened to Eliza once I got later on in the story. I feel like there should’ve been an option to return there, unless there’s a reason for not returning that I mised. Additionally, I actually don’t remember how to get to Eliza’s conversation, which, as mentioned previously, makes it hard to experience the full adventure.
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I understand that the game isn’t complete yet, but one of the scenes in the upstairs room where you go to the bathroom or something after meeting Eliza (or something else, I don’t quite remember, but you get to explore the rest of the mansion afterwards) is incomplete without having the ATNIM text.
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My favorite character in the whole thing was Joe, and although I might be biased as he’s pretty much the only male character in the whole thing that acted sane, I fel like there should’ve been more interaction with him.
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There was room for a Rougarou TF scene with Eliza/Beau that could’ve been implemented, possibly leading to an ending where the player voluntarily becomes a permanent member of the house.
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The Brendan ending was very abrupt, and although I like how it tied most of the characters together, including the one-off characters like the spider, it somehow feels more final than the ending where the player escapes. I just assumed that the escape was the true-ish ending, considering that those endings were the only ones you left a developer message on. I would either consider ramping it up to be the true ending, or downplaying it so that it’s just another bad end. I personally think that the former would be better, but the latter makes more sense in game design, because there are no clues or allusions to the green drink (except maybe the slime?).
Overall, I think that there’s 3 ‘good’ end paths/ideas you could go with this, some of which I have mentioned.
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The player escapes, becomes internet famous, and may/may not have been impregenated by a member of the plantation. This is the typical good end that I think you’re going for, but it feels pretty hollow, although that’s most likely due to my preference to go with the supernatural endings. It could be more rewarding if the player character positively influences society in such away that it relates back to his experiences of the plantation.
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The player voluntarily becomes a permanent member of the plantation, either having transformed into a paranomal entity or otherwise choosing to stay out of goodwill of the plantation’s inhabitants to help them. Even though the player character obviously is freaked out by some of the kinkier aspects of the paranormal, this still feels very much plausible and could become a very satisfying ending.
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The player forms a romantic relationship, or at least begins to, with one of the inhabitants of the mansion. This could mesh with the previous idea, or the player could maintain a long distance relationship with one of them, ocassionally coming back to visit. Although there are at least 3 new romantic ends that would spawn out of this and might be complex to outline, this would flesh out the game immensely and could lead to a dating sim-esque adventure game similar to Arcade Spirits or The Pirate’s Fate.
All three of these endings could be implemented simultaneously, although I have an idea for a fourth ‘true’ end.
- By following a specific path that involves meeting Eliza, meeting Waylon and fulfiling his requests, getting the letter and key, reuniting Waylon and Violette, getting Beau’s backstory in the distillery, meeting Joe and helping out with his pregnancy; basically doing what you can to improve everyone’s lives in a way that makes it impossible to achieve by forming a relationship with only one person (See End 3), once the player returns home, they’re approached by the Foundation, or whatever the in-universe equivalent is (This shows up in one of the ends where you escape without being impregnated, I think. The Official?) because they want to hire the player for a mission. The task? Releasing the plantation inhabitants in such a way that they could live out normal lives. It would take a lot of finagling to convince the plantation inhabitants to leave and set up media cover so they won’t be noticed by the public, but it would be worth it. Eliza would be able to rejoin society with an advanced knowledge of magic and voodoo along with the privacy she wants, perhaps joining the Foundation. Beau’s mind gets reverted back to his normal intelligence, and although his body can’t be changed, he gets to live out a relatively normal life as a bio major, also perhaps joining the Foundation. Joe gets to become a world-class fisher with renown in private fishing communities and lays his eggs succesfully. Waylon and Violette get to pass on peacefully together. The slaves are either released, or if they’re too mind-broken, they’re assimilated into D-Class/put out of their misery. The giant spider and the remaining spirits are housed by the Foundation and are studied for their anomalous properties. The best part? All those could rejoin society without too much attention(Eliza, Beau, Joe, maybe more) are thankful to the player character and remain close to him as friends, and the player character gets to have a sucessful future, living out his vlogging career, having a new family, and the story ends as the player starts to write his first book.
That’s the best way I could see this story ending. It might not be what you had in your vision, but I would love it if you would take even a little bit of inspiration from here.
Yeah, that was a lot. But, to be fair, your game had a lot too. It’s very reminiscent of old text adventures like 5 Days A Stranger or King’s Quest. Honestly, I think that, if you had the time to fully develop it with a game engine, artwork, more enhanced descriptions, and a game’s worth of text, that this could be on par with Arcade Spirits, The Pirate’s Fate, Shardlight, Asagao Academy, Lagoon Lounge, and maybe even the Zero Escape Series, all of which I adore for their excellent character building and exciting adventures where the player gets to uncover unique backstories. I can’t support your Patreon, which is lamarcodon is creating kink/adult/fetish art and stories | Patreon by the way for those reading this long-ass post, but I hope you get the support you need to make this a fantastic game.
From, a fellow SCP and male weight gain fan, as well as your supporter,
FrostyTishef
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not interested
I prefer masculine males in any fetish content I produce or consume. Like non-negotiable. I wanna see guys who look like, act like, think like, talk like guys.
They can be twinks, they can be classic prettyboys, but if I actually have to check between his legs 'cuz I can’t tell he’s male otherwise? No thanks.
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hot damn this is the kind of feedback I wish more people would write
wowowow
ok so it’d take way too long to respond to all of this here, but just know that I will be reading over this and utilizing your critiques where necessary.
As far as anything I could address easily enough in a small post:
1- That missing room/text will be addressed when I release the next version, I’ve already fixed it as a matter of fact (it’s just a locked door that turns you back to pick a different option)
2- I am by NO means a coder and do not have the capability to make this a proper visual/video game. I’m just amazed that I was able to finish it at all; this is my first proper large project like this.
3- the way I handled endings was basically, there are lots of “bad-ends” where you are stuck in the mansion for whatever reason, and then there’s a few “ok-ends” where something happens to you but you at least get to leave the mansion and continue with your life. And then a rare few “good-ends” where you escape, no bad or naughty consequences, and get to move on with your life.
thanks so much for the excellent feedback! I would be open to discussing more in-depth if say you wanted to connect on Discord (PM me or whatever)
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“You truly are the lowest scum in history.” – Jotaro Kujo
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I actually don’t mind twinks or prettyboys either. When I said “femboys,” I was imagining something like what you see at the links below (apologies if you don’t have a FurAffinity account).
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/14017007/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/31804138/
Then again, it’s your project, so you have the final say. I was just making a suggestion.
no I gotcha, I knew what you were talking about.
And I’m not being grumpy about this, so sorry if I sound mad or anything
Those are perfect examples of typical ‘femboys,’ and that grosses me out.
I like masculinity. I like dudes and bros and guys and jocks and handsomeness and muscles and just about any ‘typically male’ trope you can think of.
Cross-dressing, gender-bending, sissy/feminization, those fetishes pretty much flatline my boner when I see them. So I won’t be producing any content like that.
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Fair enough. I guess I can always pretend the MC is a femboy, since it’s entirely text-based.
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If/when this gets updated, will we possibly see new/more characters making appearances?
there is one character who I cut out of the end entirely, who will either help you escape, or make sure you go NOWHERE. This character won’t have a ton of scenes though.
There are 3 distinct, specific ghosts at the bonfire/kegger who were cut. You’ll potentially encounter them during your escape, but might not see all or any of them depending on your choices. Each of them wants to be inside you.
there is a super secret encounter with a special character planned, somewhere in the endgame that you will have to find.
So a grand total of 5 characters.
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Absolutely fantastic, Cannot wait for more, the inflation girl was pretty amazing, hope to see more of that!
Is there a way to add a option where you can play as a full out female, breasts expansion with WG and being referred to as a girl.
I like to think I’m playing as a girl but I just wish there abit more I guess,
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Dear sweet lord, let the M/M fetish game be its own thing.
It’s not even something I’m into personally but I have just about had it with people asking for a female option, when the author has said time and again that it ain’t happening.
Nothing against you guys but please just read the answer to the question your asking when it’s been answered already.
Side note, I really enjoy this game for the writing alone, again it’s not my thing but it is very well done. Hope it is being worked on still.
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