tips and advise for first project . . .

Hiya Everyone!

Wanted to reach out to the commnity to ask what you would all want in a Visual Novel? Before discovering this particular slice of the community, VN have been scarce for me to find that satiate for our particular tastes, (all I’ve found in english that were decent were the Forks demo and Growth Academy). With that lack in mind, I connected with a wonderful creator of a variety of 3D models and mentioned they were wanting a writer to come up with a story!

I’m excited to work on this, and have been studying many short storys on weight gain while being proper with the catch fall tropes of harem-esc genre. The word doc is a rough, rough, ROUGH draft of the ideas I’m coming up with so far on the backstory and general premise for the tale, (measurements are only accurate for Mimori).

I hope is appropriate to post this here, as I know it’s a bit left field, but I really want this to pan out and do justice to the community and the creator with what I write.

The creator of the 3d model can be found here: akagimaya User Profile | DeviantArt

Link to my deviant art where I post updates and more chapters will be here: Vallum-the-FA - Hobbyist, Writer | DeviantArt



Liking the premise so far. A couple questions:

Who exactly will the maids be serving?
How will they be gaining weight, and what will their reactions be to this?
Will there be adult content, and if so, how much?
Which weight gain short stories were your biggest influences when doing research for this VN?

I’m generally not looking for anything special from a weight gain VN aside from good models (which it looks like you have). I’ve played a handful of games with premises/subfetishes that don’t appeal to me, only to enjoy them quite a bit because the creator had a lot of passion and/or skill.


I was thinking the maid service would be a call service where they would go over in uniforms to clean their homes is the pretense, with the pretense of them being larger women. So kinda of a front of a call service, but the communication with the artist is slow due to timezone differences.

I’m hoping the weight gain is a gradual thing over a period of time, no magic to suddenly grow. It would be initially from cooking with this troubled lives, but as they are introduced to the service, they get to know each other, find acceptance of their size, and indulge with thier makeshift family. I’m also thinking the reaction is initial worry, as this as realistic as I can. The cultural implications of weight gain culture is initially hard to accept, and may have other girls outside of these initial three that may leave and hate gaining weight.

Unfortunately. Allot of the stories I’ve been delving into have been on deviantart when the more popular artists collaborate with writers, or allot of Dr. Blackjacks
work. Forks and gaining academy brought allot of inspiration to wrote again, and meeting this artist who wants help in this feels so good to put my work to promote his great 3d modeling ability.

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Nice. Sounds like the project should turn out well as long as the character writing’s good.

Instant weight gain games via magic or mad scientists are fun and all, but they tend to lack the dramatic payoffs of the more grounded games with gradual, realistic weight gain. Make us fall in love with the characters and care about their journey, and the game should turn out excellent.

Reading the rough character bios, it seems like you already have a decent start in that direction. Best of luck!

It really warms my heart to hear that! Again, going to give my all in this project, these models deserve a great story. I really want to take these girls on a journey of growth and acceptance, while also finding family is the oddest situations.

this hound would recommend two story trees
one where you are a customer and another where you are one of the maids(/butlers if any are male) and further divided on whether one side(with differences between which it is) or both gain weight
otherwise pampering whoever is gaining in terms of story and helping them to accept it if they are made happy by it
that would be my reccomendation otherwise
you do you for this ultimately your story to write and make, don’t rush to meet demands just make sure it is up to your standard, to mis/quote “the man who tries to please everybody pleases nobody”

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Of course! I’ll make what I can, and I know it’s not everyone’s fancy, but will do what I can to put work into this that I can enjoy at least, and hope the rest of the community can find it to be at least of adequate quality.

I’ll see if the animator has male models to incorporate as customers, otherwise I’ll have yo keep them off screen at all times. Buy I lime the split in perspectives in the story.

Creator of the models is finally up and getting to me on his character’s backstories. They have some different interpretations of the character’s backstories, so I’m trying to adapt around it.

I think its hard to convey the thougth process of why women would want to work at these kinds of cafe/services, and may want more anime-esc interpretation of these characters instead of the more grounded tone I was initially going for.

An example of this is how Mimori isn’t going to have the desperation to look for work. Rather, her family is all well, great career’s and graduated from university and is already best friends with Maya since 2 years of age. I was thinking that this is a more mutual idea to open this sort of cafe/service, but does stunt the emotional low start I was initially thinking.

A small update on the file

Also a bit of a preview of Chapter 1, enjoy :wink:

Chapter 1 – Rock Bottom

The cool night breeze sweeps upon Saotome’s soft cheeks as she sits staring a paper she holds in her left hand. Bright red stamps against the textured paper, boldly claiming her honorifics of passing her certification degree in business management. She sighs, dishearten at the prospect of what this this second-rate diploma from a first-rate college would do for her. All she has is this s]tupid piece of paper to show for the work and effort she has put in for the last 4 years of college. She takes a swig of her beer she held in her other hand, still cold from her time outside, taking in the cool summer night outside of her apartment.

A month has passed since university, and still no bites on potential jobs. No interviews, no call backs, not even second glances at her resume. In this economy, even the best of the best can’t get you a paltry corner office job. It’s not what you know, but who you know.

She chugs the rest of her beer, she closes her cardigan, protecting her fragile frame against the crisp night air. She flings the brown glass bottle against the cinderblock wall in front of her, allowing the grey of the wall to drag her further into her thoughts. Contemplating what she will have to do moving forward, ill at the notion of moving back in with her father. Saotome can just here what the backhanded advice and empty compliments her father would give,

“The factory is always hiring”

“You’d get fat if you worked in an office anyway”

“You should be doing something to keep you on your feet”

She shudders at the onslaught of potential retched moans of her father, getting up to go get more of that sweet nectar that drowns the echo of her sorrows. She opens the apartment door with an eerie creep, only to be greeted by the void of her home. A small apartment would be a compliment to describe the estate, but a more literal sense would be a comically small studio. At times, Saotome feels like she’s suffocating in a coffin. Making only a few steps to the door of her small refrigerator, she bends down with some effort to find the stockade of happy hop juices to bind her soul. She grabs one, then pauses as she’s halfway out the fridge. She nods as she go back to grab two between her dexterous fingers. She groans subconsciously as she closes the fridge with her foot, turning to a small cabinet above the count and sink. Licking her lips, she opens the cabinet to find her stacks of snacks; happy to find her supply of potato chips is still intact. grabbing a back with her open hand, she closes the cabinet haphazardly close to close with the back of her hand as she slowly starts to return to her front step. As she passes by, she notices a note she pinned to the refrigerator with her happy neko magnet with the follow etched on the front,

“Maya’s Maid Café; we give you the biggest service possible =^3^=”

Taking the note off with the clatter of the magnet falling to the ground, she flips it over with her free fingers. Written on the back, a phone number, followed by a welcoming note from her college friend Saijo, “call me, we can hook you up ;3”

Maybe I should call?” Saotome says softly to herself

Saotome sits down on her soft rear as she tears open the bag of chips, starting with a few followed by a long swig of a new beer.

Whats the worst that could happen?”

She pauses for a moment, letting the thought sink in for only a moment as she grabs a handful of salty chips, then plastering the rest of her first beer. She begins to chuckle, quickly interrupting the binge with a muffled burp.

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thats a pretty good start honestly
and may this hound ask what you were trying to convey about the perspectives because you have a couple of typos in there that makes it hard to tell
ps anime isn’t always happy go lucky shonenn you have puella magi ie cosmic horror in a cutesy style to more down to earth slice of life stuff same with manga, neither of you have to compromise simply articulate and merge your perspectives
for example a this tiny story idea
nier and hollow knight suddenly get dimensionally linked together and have a problem the other can fix, vessels for gestalts and an extraction process for the radiant plague but first must articulate what the problem is, what they have available, and what they want and after negotiation combine their resources to fix the problems and create a better world to develope
my analogy ran way from me but the point is made, you have tools he has tools so just simply plan it out and figure out the other perspectives so differences can be settled now rather than later and maybe youll help eachother in other ways as well

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The opening, I felt, was to convey this sense of loneliness and how her actiosn led up to this precipice for Saotome. Middling grades, lack of jobs, and the fear of moving back in with her parents are all these internal troubles she is dealing with alone. This juxtapooses with the outside a nice summer evening to the lonely, small inside of her isolationist apartment. While also throwing in some descriptors, (I admit I could have described the studio more), it was to see this symbolic look at herself, with little other options that a proud women she is, and how she still has this glimmer of hope with the card. She takes it outside, and enjoying her snacks to foreshadow how getting out of her shell and trusting those taht care about her truely, while also accepting her weight, will be the emotional apex of the journey to unfold.

I wanted to go darker anime tropes myself, but I think the creator of the models wanted less of the berserk/madoka magica vibe and more of a moe happy vibe. So I’m finding the compromise, they are liking my writing so far, so I’m plowing away at the rest of the chapter. Maybe it will be good to have the counter balance to make sure I don’t go too dark. :man_shrugging:

It feels nice to excersize my writing skills again, but if you see typos, feel free to let me know and I’ll correct them. I don’t have an editor for this, so I know I’m bound to miss some things here and there. I think trying to distinguish internal dialog from narration is hard to convey, as I’m finding parenthesis and italics to distinguish internal thought, description of what Saotome’s environment are, and external dialog with other characters.

Also, the whole chapter is release on Deviant art for anyone reading the sample and want more :slight_smile:

indeed, last bit of advice
do not write about the character, put yourself in their position imagine yourself as them history, quirks, the whole shebang then procede to think ‘what shall I do’
walk a mile in their shoes and act as they do
you just may discover more than you ever expect about your characters for this hound finds that many a character though we may see a portion on the page they too live lives as we do, they laugh at jokes and cry when sad things happen, they get frustrated and stub their toes, a character is simply a person far and away yet still so close that for a few moments we are not ourselves and they are not strangers but instead one till stories conclusion

Great advise! I’ve been connecting to my plus size gal pals,(wife is 380lbs, sister is 240lbs, and a few bbw friends as well), to better understand the struggles Saotome would feel, so I can better react as her, to be thinking,
“How would I react if X happened?”
“How do I carry weight differently with this body?”
“What are sociatal implications of traumas that I would feel if I was a heavy-set woman?”
You have to draw from real life experiences to make the work authentic, instead of an artificial doll you move around. The difference of acting and playing a game is that fine line.

It’s lovely talking with another writer who gets it!

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thank you, I may not be a writer of stories but I’ve got insights due to my odd perspective on excistence
after all is not each reality its own stage that plays out its story for the audience on the other stages
ps read the first chapter in full, very good if its the same style and tone in game

I hope so, but I found out the creator of the models used a program that, legally, he cant use them for profit, even though he modded the models in Blender. We are trying to see what else we can do, but for now it might be stuck in written story limbo :frowning:

I’ll still be writing, but for now its more of a pleasure project that i hope can get me writing for a WG project with a team of peeps who know what they are doing.

take your time rome wasn’t built in a day nor did they acquire their tools in a day
you’ll get to goal
this hound quotes “slow and steady wins the race, ever and always the cleverest in first place.”

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I enjoy what I’m reading so far, looking forward to more of this project in whatever form it happens to take!

A couple things:

There were a fair few spelling and grammatical errors throughout. Nothing to be ashamed of, but I’d recommend getting one or two proofreaders doctor the script after it’s been completed but before the game’s released to the public.

Also, 2000 yen a month is about 18 dollars. Yeah. You can use online resources to calculate the exchange rate, of course:

But I found a decent trick to doing it mentally. Take the amount of yen (Y1000), move the decimal two places to the left (10), and add on a third ($13). Gotten less accurate as the exchange rate fluctuates, but I just considered 1500 yen and $20 roughly equivalent, and multiplied from there.

Ah, nice catch on the yen exchange!I accidentally put yen instead of dollars. 300k Yen would be more competative in keeping a niche clientel.

Oh for sure on getting a proofreader. Me, myself, and I are the only proof readers for the story thus far, so I hope when we get to the project stage the team will be more than 2.

Should I keep posting here, or should I move my topic to another part of the forum.

Just want to keep anyone interested the updates of my story

Chapter 2a

Hopefully, the game will have sizes and shapes beyond just those by akagimaya’s model shapes. And I actually saw their Pixiv long before this topic was first posted.