Thoughts on Health

General Discussion
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This is my first time creating a post but here goes :slight_smile:

Ok so I’ve been thinking about this alot since the discussion on IRL Weight Gain for your SO (I highly recommend you give that a read as well). So let me expand upon that topic with a related scenario. If your partner willing and genuinely enjoys being morbidly obese, BUT they are experiencing major health issues as a result of their weight, what would you do?

And to present a similar question for those who may not want to answer the first one since it’s kinda dark, what if your partner is now fat, but not in a lethal or life threatening state. However, they have noticeable physical issues/limitations. Booths at restaurants are now impossible to fit into, they often mention knee or joint pain, and of course: heavy breathing during physical activities no matter how simple. Do you address it? Again, in both these scenarios they are very happy and love being an active gainer. Would you no longer find them attractive? Thought i’d get the ball rolling on this topic since I personally feel like this is something very prevalent in this community but is the least addressed.

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Thanks for sharing your experiences on that thread!

Personally, if my theoretical feedee had become so big that the issues you described above started to affect them, I would recommend to them to slow the pace of weight gain. I would continue to show my partner that I appreciate them at their current weight. I would also try to find joy in other fun activities like stuffing, where maybe the goal isn’t directly to gain weight, but just to feed my partner until they are full. So I would address it at least to monitor how my partner feels about their situation and provide equally fun alternatives.

I think my perspective is colored by the fear of my feedee potentially becoming bedbound if they are already that size and still willing to gain weight (even though they may be very distant, I have never carried all that much weight before so I wouldn’t know!). Although they may still like that life they live bedbound, I would still prefer my partner have the choice to independently move at their discretion, just in case they do want the freedom to do something unassisted.

I don’t have a perfect solution for their joint pain, though. I think enough exercise every day combined with ample rest (since they are carrying a bigger load than me, after all) might help! I just wouldn’t like that problem to continue to bother them if we continue our lifestyles.

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I don’t know if I could ever be comfortable with my partner ever gaining enough to have issues. I think WG is hot (after all, I’m literally here), but not something that I would be comfortable with my partner ever perusing. At the end of the day, WG is such a massive burden to human health, I can’t imagine why anyone would pursue it in the long term. Even if my partner would have “minor” issues like joint pain or heavy breathing, that’s not to say they won’t have major issues like diabetes or heart attacks a decade or two down the line due to their weight.

Sorry for my rude comment earlier. I might support hardcore WG if medical technology improves to the point that we can be fat and live long. Until then, it’s a big fat no from me.

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. Weight gain in fiction is always good fun, but shortened life spans really aren’t.

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Original poster of “What do you guys think of IRL weight gain for your partner” here, and health was definitly on my mind, but I failed to think about if my potential was happy with being heavy, despite the health drawbacks, so I’ll give my two-bits on this.

My first (and so far only, so keep that in mind) was definitely on the lower end of BBW, weighing in at around 176lbs at her heaviest and standing at 5’1. So while she didn’t really suffer from any health issues beyond the stress and back problems from her horrible job, she did run the risk of having problems which admittedly worried me more then her. She was the type of girl that wasn’t a purposeful BBW, but didn’t mind taking the easy route and staying fat because the person she loved liked her that way. After we split up due to living in two different countries and realizing that we could never leave our respective homes (USA and Japan), that’s when I started thinking about things for any future partner after the healing process was complete, including the issue of weight.

I’ve always been super slim (165lbs at 6’3), so I can’t say first hand what it’s like to be overweight, let alone obese. But after my experience with my now ex girlfriend, and pondering my experience from it, I believe that it’s okay for minor issues such as a slight shortness of breath, as well as furniture and clothes being too small, and if she’s okay with minor issues like that than it can actually be quite attractive for me. But given how I enjoy walking a lot, I’d like for my partner to retain a good amount of mobility, if only to be apart of my simple hobby.

But on the question of me being okay with my partner accepting the risks of extreme obesity and being happy, I’ll admit that I don’t think I’d be happy with that. The risks would out-weigh any potential pleasure for me, and extreme obesity just wouldn’t fit into my active lifestyle. And to see someone seriously struggle with their own body frightens me, and I just don’t think I could live with that. Also with extreme obesity comes the risk of diabetes, and as a Type 1 Diabetic for all of my life through no fault of my own, I don’t want anyone to develop diabetes if they can avoid it.

TL:DR- Minor inconvenience is fine and can even be attractive, extreme obesity is too risky for me despite my potential partner being happy with it, and this standard was set because of my first girlfriend.

(Sorry if this post was confusing, I’m on mobile and had a lot of thoughts I wanted to try and share)

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I personally think minor inconvenience is okay, but is also good caution for what is yet to come if you are not careful. Honestly, if there were too many minor inconveniences, I would also be concerned.
Getting out of breath might not be too detrimental, but I find joint pain might be worrisome, as down the line that might lead to other serious joint problems, and suddenly those joints that could be used to keep in shape can’t be used that well anymore, which would become even more problematic.
As long as exercising is still a possibility, or something that can get the blood pumping well, as well as no signs for something that can lead to serious health detriment in the future, I am think it’s okay. Other than those cases, I don’t think it’d be good at all. Taking away someone’s experiences in life for a fetish are sad.

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Hurting someone I care about is my absolute worst nightmare and I consider going too far with this weight gain stuff hurting someone in a way.

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I think it’s important to look at both sides of the relationship here. In the first scenario I would be deeply concerned, worried, and unhappy. It’s not something I’ve ever had to deal with, but other health concerns, yes I have. If my partner, no matter what their feeling about themselves, isn’t considering how I might feel about it then that isn’t a relationship I’d want to be a part of. They are basically saying to you that their own happiness is far more important to them than yours. It is, ultimately, very selfish.

Maybe I’m too, I don’t know, idealistic/romantic but I think that the basis of any real relationship has to include a mutual respect and concern for the other; not just a shared/complementary physical fetish. That there has to be something more there than feeding or being fed. Has their focus on gaining narrowed the relationship so it’s only about that? That in itself would be a worry more immediate than potential health issues.

Am I to be their loving partner, or do they treat me as a guilty carer? Is my own appreciation of them just limited to their increasing weight? It would be wrong if it was. I suppose what I am saying is that I would have thought and talked about it long before, and we would have not got to this stage.

In the second scenario, I’d have much less of a concern, but I’d still be considering questions I’ve asked above. But it is hard to answer, because outside of fantasy, I don’t really consider myself a feeder. I wouldn’t be preparing meals or taking them out just to get them fatter (even if they like that aspect); first and foremost it would be for the pleasure of being together, looking after her, and the enjoyment of sharing good food. Maybe gain would be an indirect consequence of doing that too often, of cooking a little too much, of having that desert that neither of us probably needed, or having two three course meals in the same day, but for me it isn’t the goal. Though having said that, I do find the “just a salad”, “no desert for me” joyless attitude most unattractive.

I guess what I’m also saying is that their “attractiveness” to me wouldn’t have stemmed from their desire to gain, so having it limited wouldn’t reduce their attractiveness. Neither would minor health issues; we all get those, and over a lifetime together any couple are going to face their fair share. I’d be a pretty shallow person if I was no longer attracted to someone at the first sign of ill health. I have two long term conditions myself, so it would be hypocritical too! My concerns would stem from if they couldn’t do the other things they enjoy doing because of their weight; that’s where we’d certainly have to start talking about where we were going. And as a last unimportant item, we don’t see restaurant booths here that often, I think most prefer the convenience and flexibility of having conventional tables and chairs, but I know what you are talking of. I’m no saint though, and their having to make some accommodation to being larger, and a little getting out of breath is kinda sexy.

For me, also, there’s something unbalanced about the feeder/gainer thing too. I guess in my ideal world we’d be getting cuddlier together and not as a direct goal in itself, but as a consequence of enjoying our lives together maybe a little too much.

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Alright, I’m willing to take a stab at this; as has been said this is a pretty tough topic!

So briefly about me: I absolutely fantasize as a feeder, if my partner gains weight directly or indirectly as a result of my relationship with them I find the weight slightly more attractive than usual (I find weight attractive anyway, just moreso in this case). As for how I am in a relationship, well I am a worrier; things such as physical and mental health give me pause to quite a big degree whatever the cause. I am also quite the introvert, limiting how much time I spend overall with any partner.

Im going to attempt the harder first question, I’m not gonna lie at this point I really don’t know my answer. There is a lot of hypothetical here so bear with me… I’m going to have to break this down as a scenerio so this is gonna get a little long. My absolute gut feeling in this case is that I couldn’t bear seeing a person I loved in physical pain (discomfort, handicaps, ect…)

So lets think specifics: In my case the person can certainly be assumed to be someone I truely love as I never have casual realtionships. The most likely scenerio I can see is I find someone who is already huge and they proceed to get even bigger (450lbs to 600lbs) just to throw numbers at it. I can well imagine the relationship having many great aspects, imagining that said partner isn’t a lazy layabout but someone who has talent and or drive and someone who can deal with me being a big ball of nerves and crazy, someone caring and nice.

My first thoughts upon hearing things getting bad would be extreme worry, almost certainly that I had done something horrifying, that I had forced my partner to destroy themselves (Certianly I would worry that they were doing it to please me only, no matter how much I trust them there is a limit to what I expect them to want to do). Of course as the question proposes, the first thing my partner says to me is: “WHAT!? No that isn’t true at all! I want this!”. This is the point where it gets very strange, it becomes a battle between our worries and desires; both mine and theirs. I do know the second my partner had signs of looming health issues (especially major ones) I would voice my concerns pretty gravely (Ive only recently become strong enough to do this so who knows what this scenerio i’m writing would have looked like a few years ago)

Now that ive brought the hypothetical to this point it is interesting imagining the conversations we would have. I get the feeling that it would boil down to something like this: The first suggestion I would make is to slow down, I can see it being quite a tense moment; but we would likely agree. My instinct would be to take the most logical path from there. I would imagine, potentially partly due to me being a worrier; that my partner doesnt have a terrible diet and they excersise at least a little (short walks in the park ect…) So my initial responce is to slow everything down. (Their gain mostly, along with their food intake, adding more excercise all of that). What follows is the result of what happens next. Keeping with the theme, it doesnt work; my partner is slowly getting worse. Looking at it like this I can happily say it is much easier to see my own perspective on the matter. I can say certainly I would take measures to ensure my partner’s quality of life improves, for them and for me. If that involves weight loss, absolutely so be it. (I will openly admit, even in this scenerio both me and my partner would view the loss of the weight as sad but nessesary. I wouldn’t hesitate a moment though, and niether would they. Losing weight until such time they felt stable again). It’s just the conversations, neither of us being unrealistic but not wanting to let go of a fantasy if we didn’t have to. There is probably a great visual novel plot in there somewhere lol.

Apologies for the long ramble, it was the easiest way of getting some kind of clarity on the whole thing. It looks like my answer boils down to: I would genuinely like my partner to be as big as possible, however it is absolutely not in me to do anything inhuman as to let them kill themselves from it (something I will openly admit to being relieved to learn about myself, though it was what i was expecting) The moment that solidified it for me was just imagining my partners face, beautiful and happy… But seeing them wince in pain a little from a myriad of problems slowly becomeing more and more dangerous. Knowing that I wouldn’t want to lose that happyness for any reason.

If you took the time to read through this, thank you; I hope it isn’t just mindless rambling lol I look forward to seeing various perspectives despite the topic being a little on the depressing side :slight_smile:

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Gonna throw my two cents in here. I’m primarily a gainer, but also a feeder.

As a gainer, if I were experiencing those problems, I would want to keep going, depending on whatever my current weight were at the time. Not fitting in booths at restaurants, becoming winded just trying to heave myself out of bed, having to smoosh myself to get through doors, etc. are all huge(haha, fat) turn-ons for me. Joint pain already doesn’t deter me, though perhaps having a heart attack or the like might. Even then, I’m not sure I’d ever want to stop.

As a feeder, I take the position that as long as I’m being clear that it’s not my choice how big my partner will get, that I love them and support their decisions, whatever those might be, I can live with the consequences if they can. I would absolutely make sure that they are aware of the health risks and regularly see a doctor, but it not my place to stand between someone else and their happiness, unless it’s directly negatively affecting others.

My philosophy is a kind of hedonistic absurdism, and that we’re all here for a short time, there’s really no greater meaning to our existence, so at the end of the day if you’re happy doing what you’re doing, you might as well keep doing it, unless you think you can be happier. (edit: Unless your happiness comes at the detriment and/or exploitation of others, then you can take a long walk off a short pier.)

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I should first define myself. I am not a (intentional) gainer–I actually would not mind losing a few to get my family off my back. I am not a feeder. I am not even an active encourager/enabler. It may be shocking, but I do not even like the idea of deliberate gaining; it is a deal-breaker for me. I am and will always be a lurker, and this is because of the conflict between my distinct tastes and my moral compass. I will always endeavor keep my shameful fetish solely between me and my electronic devices.

With that out of the way, I now turn to the title of the thread. The bottom line is that many (but NOT ALL) of those health consequences are the core of my attraction. It is the reason I do not like “muscleguts,” nor the “healthier” obese people who carry their weight relatively well. I emphasize “not all” because there are some extreme effects that are turn-offs for me. These include things like heart attacks/failure, hygiene issues, dependence on oxygen, and immobility. The technical medical consequences such as diabetes and hypertension do not appeal, either.

So what is my ideal? Simply put, the climax of my masturbation is thinking about how someone is on the edge of experiencing the aforementioned “extreme effects.” Joint and muscle pain? I love fantasizing the burn. Limited stamina? I drool over the details. Sweating? Yes, as long as they clean themselves up afterwards. Rapid heartbeat from basic exertion so bad it starts to hurt? A real soft spot for me. And the labored wheezing to the point where an oxygen mask would be welcome for a minute or two? The holy grail.

If you are repulsed by my deepest urges, you are not alone. I am ashamed of my sadistic nature. Thus, I will never act upon my fantasies in reality. I understand the slippery slope. My ideal scenario for an obese subject is unsustainable, to say nothing of how selfish it is. To summarize, my dream boy would remain (much to his dismay) just on the brink of life-threatening consequences, with poor health that would never reach the dire levels of requiring outside assistance. His predicament would be exclusively self-inflicted, but also against his wishes to lose weight.

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well fuckin put man, good job

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i posted in the other aforementioned thread so i’ll kinda drop in my two cents here:

as a feedee and feeder, i believe that every person (regardless of size) can definitely be healthy or at least happy. i’m a larger person myself (216 lbs) and even though i don’t have amazing stamina like some of my thinner friends, i still can get up flights of stairs and i can still take walks and enjoy some forms of exercise! (i particularly dislike running though. too much jiggling and i get out of breath quickly unlike when i walk. but then again, i don’t practice enough and i’m sure i could get better if i actually tried.) and i definitely cannot speak for people in larger bodies than me, but i do know that gaining purposely or just being bigger to an extent can be healthy! and i follow many plus size/super size people on social media who are even twice my size and enjoying exercise and healthy movement. so i believe as a feedee/larger person, that my quality of life isn’t bad even if i’m not skinny or appear fit.

as a feeder, i think that so long as my partner is happy and content with their size and not having huge huge health problems, (which isn’t necessarily caused by weight, they’re moreso just linked to being a larger weight. but anyone, not just larger bodied people, can start having those issues regardless of their size.) and i know that gaining weight in those situations isn’t healthy and i would ask my partner to just maintain their weight. but then again, their body, their rules. and i’d do anything to make them happy, even if that means helping take care of them if they can’t do it themselves.

but so long as there’s no issues? i’d love to help them gain and to help them feel more confident and beautiful in their body. and if they don’t want to, that’s fine! i would never force someone to do that for me, because that’s straight up abuse. and if they ever want to stop? or if they have limits? they just have to say the word and i’ll stop immediately. consent is extremely important, especially when you’re actively changing their appearance. they very well might not like the weight on them, and that’s absolutely okay. i know for me, someone actively recovering from an eating disorder, that accepting changes in your body can be difficult and if they ever felt insecure, i’d make sure they knew that i love them regardless of their size and that i’ll find every weight on them attractive. and i know that’s not always effective, but it’s always nice to hear that kind of thing.

but, that being said, so long as there’s active communication and understanding, i think that irl gaining is fine! :slight_smile:

i’ll bring up something i said in my last post to end this because i think it fits, “i think that the meaning of life is to experience and enjoy life for what it is while you’re here and that you can totally gain weight on purpose and eat what you want and that’s okay! because your life is yours and yours to enjoy and experience.”

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