Alright, I’m willing to take a stab at this; as has been said this is a pretty tough topic!
So briefly about me: I absolutely fantasize as a feeder, if my partner gains weight directly or indirectly as a result of my relationship with them I find the weight slightly more attractive than usual (I find weight attractive anyway, just moreso in this case). As for how I am in a relationship, well I am a worrier; things such as physical and mental health give me pause to quite a big degree whatever the cause. I am also quite the introvert, limiting how much time I spend overall with any partner.
Im going to attempt the harder first question, I’m not gonna lie at this point I really don’t know my answer. There is a lot of hypothetical here so bear with me… I’m going to have to break this down as a scenerio so this is gonna get a little long. My absolute gut feeling in this case is that I couldn’t bear seeing a person I loved in physical pain (discomfort, handicaps, ect…)
So lets think specifics: In my case the person can certainly be assumed to be someone I truely love as I never have casual realtionships. The most likely scenerio I can see is I find someone who is already huge and they proceed to get even bigger (450lbs to 600lbs) just to throw numbers at it. I can well imagine the relationship having many great aspects, imagining that said partner isn’t a lazy layabout but someone who has talent and or drive and someone who can deal with me being a big ball of nerves and crazy, someone caring and nice.
My first thoughts upon hearing things getting bad would be extreme worry, almost certainly that I had done something horrifying, that I had forced my partner to destroy themselves (Certianly I would worry that they were doing it to please me only, no matter how much I trust them there is a limit to what I expect them to want to do). Of course as the question proposes, the first thing my partner says to me is: “WHAT!? No that isn’t true at all! I want this!”. This is the point where it gets very strange, it becomes a battle between our worries and desires; both mine and theirs. I do know the second my partner had signs of looming health issues (especially major ones) I would voice my concerns pretty gravely (Ive only recently become strong enough to do this so who knows what this scenerio i’m writing would have looked like a few years ago)
Now that ive brought the hypothetical to this point it is interesting imagining the conversations we would have. I get the feeling that it would boil down to something like this: The first suggestion I would make is to slow down, I can see it being quite a tense moment; but we would likely agree. My instinct would be to take the most logical path from there. I would imagine, potentially partly due to me being a worrier; that my partner doesnt have a terrible diet and they excersise at least a little (short walks in the park ect…) So my initial responce is to slow everything down. (Their gain mostly, along with their food intake, adding more excercise all of that). What follows is the result of what happens next. Keeping with the theme, it doesnt work; my partner is slowly getting worse. Looking at it like this I can happily say it is much easier to see my own perspective on the matter. I can say certainly I would take measures to ensure my partner’s quality of life improves, for them and for me. If that involves weight loss, absolutely so be it. (I will openly admit, even in this scenerio both me and my partner would view the loss of the weight as sad but nessesary. I wouldn’t hesitate a moment though, and niether would they. Losing weight until such time they felt stable again). It’s just the conversations, neither of us being unrealistic but not wanting to let go of a fantasy if we didn’t have to. There is probably a great visual novel plot in there somewhere lol.
Apologies for the long ramble, it was the easiest way of getting some kind of clarity on the whole thing. It looks like my answer boils down to: I would genuinely like my partner to be as big as possible, however it is absolutely not in me to do anything inhuman as to let them kill themselves from it (something I will openly admit to being relieved to learn about myself, though it was what i was expecting) The moment that solidified it for me was just imagining my partners face, beautiful and happy… But seeing them wince in pain a little from a myriad of problems slowly becomeing more and more dangerous. Knowing that I wouldn’t want to lose that happyness for any reason.
If you took the time to read through this, thank you; I hope it isn’t just mindless rambling lol I look forward to seeing various perspectives despite the topic being a little on the depressing side